Test #1

If this post is uploaded right, then this is my first post of... a few I suppose. If not, then I just wasted my time. Something I'm used to. To be honest, I'm not sure why I'm writing this at all. I shouldn't even be here, I don't deserve it. I guess English class is to blame. After all the existentialism talks, I've been thinking a lot about death. It isn't easy. Thinking about the void swallowing me up, nobody remembering me, nothing for eternity, it makes me scared and lonely. I want to write this so I can look at myself to better to see who I really am. Right now, I am nothing. Not many people notice me. Worst case scenario, they notice me and pity me. I don't want pity. I want to make my parents, my grandparents, my friends and teachers proud to know me. But my life has always been to watch my friends succeed. I once saw a motivational picture-thing that said, "Remember that guy that gave up? Neither does anyone else." I'm trying to think of some edge I have, some wisdom I can share if not bestow about anything. But there is nothing. I can't fail. I won't be forgotten, my entire existence shown on a rock or in a number on a sheet of paper. But at this point what can I do.